Why We Move And Why We Stay
I sighed with great drama as my husband asked if we could finally talk about it. The task at hand weighed heavy on my mind and my soul. I had delayed this conversation, and now I had no more excuses. It was time to face the oncoming locomotive. Organization and communication will be crucial, I thought, so the preparation also has to be extensive to navigate the next few months, nay, the next few weeks. The matrix was laid out in front. On all fronts we saw challenge after challenge. The complexity of it all was too much. The stress was palpable, and the silence of the unknown would have welcomed the sound of a pin drop.
Yes, I am talking about the beginning of the year schedule. For coaches, parents, players and children (ok basically for most all humans), it is the sound of a distant trumpet playing TAPS on a fallen summer. It is the signaling of the end of lazy summer days, and the beginning of chaos for many of us.
Whether you’re a parent or student stepping into a new academic year, or a coach or athlete beginning a new season, you know the feeling—the excitement of something new paired with the weight of everything that comes with it. New schedules. New expectations. New challenges. More to manage, more to remember, and more to carry.
And somewhere in the midst of that excitement and stress, you may find yourself looking ahead and wondering, How am I going to do all of this?
But perhaps the better question isn’t how.
It’s with whom?
HOW we do this is not alone, but together—with our communities. Life is not meant to be lived, navigated, or figured out in a vacuum. We are meant to do life alongside others. Our communities support us, challenge us, encourage us, and, in many ways, shape who we become.
Allow me to expand:
When my kids were little, we lived in three different houses. Each one was a good home for our family, but none of them had many children nearby. The houses were nice, the neighborhoods were quiet, but something important was missing—community.
The neighborhood we live in today is different, and it's one of the reasons we love calling it home. Yes, we have great friends here, and so do our kids, but it's more than friendships that make this place special. It's the everyday moments that weave people together.
On any given day, you might see neighbors in weighted vests, carrying kettlebells as they work out together in their driveways. A message might pop up in the neighborhood group chat offering fresh vegetables from someone’s garden, quickly followed by a string of funny GIFs, jokes, and playful banter.
Someone is returning a borrowed ladder. Another is walking over to help fix a car—or troubleshoot a website. Parents step in to help watch each other’s kids when schedules get hectic. Conversations may begin with the weather but often turn into something deeper: honest conversations about parenting, family, work, and life.
It’s in these ordinary, everyday moments that community becomes something more than simply living near one another. It becomes doing life together.
You never quite know what you'll need—or when you'll need it—but in a healthy community, that's okay. Someone is always willing to lend a hand, share what they have, or simply listen. That's what community does.
What I appreciate most about my neighborhood isn't that we're all alike. We're not. We have different careers, personalities, experiences, and interests. Yet beneath all of those differences is something that matters far more: we share a common set of values. We value family. We value hard work. We value generosity. We value being the kind of people who show up when someone else needs us.
Without anyone ever saying it out loud, we make each other better. We encourage one another to grow, celebrate each other's successes, and walk alongside each other through life's challenges. It's not because we all think the same; it's because we believe in the same kinds of things.
Without anyone ever announcing it, we subconsciously push and support each other to become better people. We celebrate each other's successes. We encourage one another through life's challenges. We borrow from each other's strengths, and in doing so, we all grow.
Jim Rohn captured this idea perfectly when he said, "You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Others have expressed the same truth more simply: You are the sum of who you surround yourself with.
That's why community matters so much. The people around us don't just influence our happiness—they influence our habits, our attitudes, our expectations, and ultimately, who we become.
The same is true in the workplace.
People often think they stay at a job because of the salary, the benefits, or the title. Those things certainly matter. But just as many people stay because they've found something much harder to replace—a community. A place where people share values. A place where teammates encourage one another, challenge one another, celebrate wins together, and walk alongside each other through setbacks.
The healthiest workplaces look a lot like the best neighborhoods where people willingly lend a hand. They check in on each other, laugh together, and challenge one another to grow. They create an environment where everyone becomes a little better simply because of who they're surrounded by.
And when people find a place where they belong—where they are known, valued, challenged, and surrounded by people who make them better—they're often willing to stay. Not because the place is perfect, but because the community has become part of who they are.
You can't predict what life will bring or when you'll need help, and that's why community matters. It's not built for the expected moments—it's built for the unexpected ones. And when those moments come, community shows up.
People don't stay because of places. They stay because of people.
You might MOVE for the job, or the paycheck, or the better house, or the change of scenery or the (fill in the blank), but you’ll STAY for the people.
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And if you’re ready to call the U-haul and have your boxes already packed, hang on. If you are looking for your people and this type of community, look no further. There is a community that can help.
How do I know? I know because at one point I had purchased the packing peanuts and bubble wrap. And then I joined this Mastermind…and began to slowly put down the packing tape. I didn’t need to move. I just needed community, and I found it.
If you’re looking for a community that will show up for you, I’d encourage you to check out the following Mastermind, where you will find community with real people, real conversations, real feedback and real support: https://www.mollygrisham.com/masterminds-for-college-coaches
PS - If you’re not a college coach, there is also one for Leaders of all kinds!
